Relationships are meant to be built on loyalty, laughter, and trust. But not all friendships are healthy, and not all red flags are easy to spot. In fact, many unhealthy dynamics begin quietly, disguised as concern, closeness, or quirky personality traits. Over time, however, these patterns can chip away at your confidence, emotional safety, and sense of self.
A recent Psychology Today article reviews the fact that relationships that frequently cross over boundaries, including those characterized by control, manipulation, and/or guilt, will result in long-lasting emotional fatigue and issues of trust if they continue to be disrespected. Why does this matter? In the context of a teen relationship, where identity and self-worth are still developing, these effects can be especially damaging. By learning how to recognize red flags early in a teen relationship, you empower yourself to make thoughtful, healthy decisions about the relationships in your life.
Psychological Red Flags to Notice Early
Most unhealthy relationships do not happen suddenly. Most unhealthy teen relationships begin with subtle inequities in the emotional balance of the individuals involved, and gradually change the emotional dynamics of the relationships.
Unbalanced Emotional Responsibility
You continuously listen to, give advice to, and support the other person; yet, when you need to talk about something, that person is either unreachable or uninterested in what you have to say. Over time, this emotional imbalance will likely lead to feelings of resentment and eventually burnout. According to PsychCentral, an unchanging, one-sided relationship is the primary feature of a toxic friendship- particularly within adolescent and teen relationship settings.
Reaching Out Instead of Receiving Support
When reaching out, you’re met with either silly jokes or jokes disguised as “tough love” from the other person, but regardless of how you condone the situation, it is still a means of belittling you, losing trust in that person; you are also less likely to open up to the other person or speak with them going forward. A 2025 article from Forbes states that belittling a person in front of others is an early indicator of emotional neglect and is indicative of manipulative behaviors.
Unwillingness or Untrustworthy
The foundation for developing and maintaining an emotionally intimate relationship is based upon the ability to trust one another. When you have a friend who consistently lies or withholds information from you or divulges your private, personal matters to third parties, this type of behavior cannot only be classified as an infringement on your personal boundaries but is also a severe breach of your safety at an emotional level.
People often underestimate how much a teen relationship can impact self-perception. Continued exposure to subtle forms of hostility and guilt can create self-doubt, high levels of anxiety, and suppressing your emotions, which will ultimately impede your self-worth and negatively impact your academic performance and social decision-making over time.
What Healthy Friendship Boundaries Look Like
Boundaries are not walls; they are guides to help establish a mutually respectful connection. A healthy, emotionally intimate relationship does not require anyone involved to be perfect. However, there must be some form of balance maintained between both friends.
In a healthy teen relationship, each person has the right to feel safe to say no or ask for time/space without fearing that there will be any negative consequences. Furthermore, neither person is expected to be there for the other on an emotional level equally all the time. There may be instances when one person’s emotional burden is heavier than the other’s; however, the overall relationship is reciprocal in a ways that both friends feel they are providing support for and benefiting from one another rather than experiencing one-way or draining exchanges.
True friends do not only show up when it is convenient or easy for them. They reach out, check in, as well as remember the little things. PureWow cites that consistency and shared emotional investment are among the most indicative signs of a healthy bond between two friends.
When to Let Go & Seek Support
If you feel that your attempts to establish appropriate boundaries within your teen relationship continue to be ignored or negated, or if you feel that the friendship has continuously left you with negative feelings toward yourself, it may be time to assess your current relationship with that person more closely.
If you recognize more than three signs of red flags in your teen relationship and your gut instinct tells you there is something wrong, then consider reevaluating your relationship, regardless of how long you have known one another. As Dr. Hutchinson states, it is essential to step away from your current relationship and discontinue pursuing a future friendship with that person. If you are feeling a tremendous sense of emotional overload while considering a change to your current friendship, it might be useful for you to speak to a therapist or counselor about your current needs and what your next steps might include.
Final Thoughts: Long-Term Friendship Health
Recognizing the signs of red flags in another person is not about judging them; it is about respecting your emotional health enough to step away. A healthy teen relationship has common goals, mutual caring and support for one another, and provides the opportunity to be yourself without being afraid of the emotional outcome that might result from being honest and expressing your true self.
As you evolve and change, the boundaries (within limits) that you set for yourself may change due to your personal growth; and therefore, so will your friendships. That is perfectly okay. Most importantly, the friendships that remain will be those friendships that continue to grow and evolve with you, rather than against you.
